Mixed Emotions plus Spiritual blessings

I spent the first week of September with a friend praying and fasting. I desperately needed God’s wisdom and guidance. There are major changes occurring for me personally and for the ministry. Personally flowing with the change is ok; but it is much more difficult to uproot a ministry and move it after five years. Yes, I have been in Kyiv for five years this November. Can you believe it?

One of the administrators offered me a ride to my friend’s home. I would normally take a small van for this trip, but it was pleasant to visit and listen to worship music. Several weeks prior to this trip had been very stressful and I had very little peace in my life. During the ride I prayed and thanked God for my dear friends here and the opportunity to serve Him. I asked God to bless my friends and touch their lives abundantly. Little did I know, I would be a recipient of some of these blessings. God continues to surprise me.

Most importantly, God began to fill me with peace, peace that I have not experienced for some time. I know that God is always in control, but I do not ‘feel’ that way sometimes. How about you? I love God dearly and my desire is to serve Him, no matter what. Now, I am experiencing the ‘no matter what’ phase. I am sure you can relate to this experience.

There are so many changes transpiring that my head is spinning with all the details. I have that crazy administrator gifting and I like everything in order! Sometimes this gift can be a detriment. People do not realize I have a lifetime of experience moving and they want to tell me what to do. It is just like people (or us), we always know better than the next person, right? In other words, my way is the only way. I try not to convey this attitude, but sometimes I want to scream ‘I am in charge here, listen to me.’

People react rebelliously to my gifting. They claim I do not know what I am talking about. Ohhhh . . . sometimes, I wish God would sit me in a classroom so I could listen rather than be the teacher.

God blessed me with an overwhelming peace during this quiet time with Him. I am able to think clearly about the necessities that need to be taken care of and the needs of the ministry. Please keep me in your prayers especially during the next two months. A missionary needs prayer continually, but sometimes there is a special need.

I want God’s approval and blessings for the changes that are transpiring. If I am in His will, the ministry will be blessed and grow or change, also! That is a disconcerting thought, is it not? Especially for those of us who have known it to be Dr. Vernette’s work. She did an amazing work here, and the work I am doing is based on her lifetime commitment and obedience to the Lord.
Mom, thank you for being an example of a strong Christian woman.

May God bless each of you and may His face shine upon you.